Notes from the online course – How to Be Your Own Life Coach – Lesson 6. – The Soul: Threats from the Outside, Threats from the Inside


Recommended Reading:

How to take care of your soul


Whether you call it your soul or your spirit, it is clear that there is something inherently you inside your body. Something that guides you, motivates you, comforts you, something that makes you who you are. Something beyond what you know and how you look. It is something deeper, fuller, and more comprehensive than anything else about you.


Unfortunately, it takes quite a beating.


Whether it is other people that try to break you or your own doubts and fears, it is easy to understand why the idea of selling or losing your soul is so popular in literature. But it is possible to retain the you inside; it just takes diligence and forgiveness.


There are innumerable ways that you will find your spirit threatened and your soul at risk. Some people embrace early that traditional “soul” issues, like charity, forgiveness, and compassion, are secondary to their other motivations like greed, wealth, and lust. Before you dismiss these values, or if you are pondering a revival of your soul, consider the lives of people with great spirit and deep soul. We all know people that embody these concepts; too often, we dismiss them, make fun of them, or imagine ourselves to be superior to them. But way, way deep down, you also want to be as content and joyful as they are. You want to see the positives in tough situations, to know that you have the capacity to determine your own life course, and to be able to sleep at night the deep slumber of a peaceful person. Transforming yourself into a person that encompasses these wonderful characteristics is a very real challenge.


To start revitalizing your soul and bolstering your spirit, you must start to remember who you really are inside, not who others seem to think you should be. In a moment, you are going to close your eyes and ask yourself each of the following questions. Write your answers down in your notebook.

  1. What was I like when I was 10? What characteristics did I have? Was I outgoing or shy? Did I always want to correct others when they were wrong or was I more laidback? What did I want to do with my life and why?
  1. What was I like when I was 15? What values did I live? Did I spend my spare time alone or with friends? What did I believe about God and religion? Why? What did I want to do with my life and why?
  1. What was I like when I was 21? What was I doing with my life? Did I go to college and did I want to? Did I work to help support my family? What did I really want to be or to go? What kind of relationships did I have? What did I want to do with my life and why?
  1. What was I like 5 years ago? Where was I and why? Did I love my job or hate it? Had I started a family, was I holding out for the right person, or did I already experience the wrong one(s)? What did I want to do with my life and why?
  1. What am I like today? Am I still essentially the same as when I was a child? In what ways have I grown? In what ways have I not grown that I think I should have? What do I believe about God and religion? What are my highest priorities in life? How many close relationships do I have? Is that similar to how it is been in the past? Why or why not? How would friends describe me? What about my coworkers?
Some people are very relaxed and prefer to stay out of drama or not get involved with the disputes of others. Some people choose principles over pragmatism and have to put their foot down. Some people compromise sometimes and hold fast others. Which do you do? Is this how you’ve always been? Is it how you want to be? Why have you changed or not changed?

And finally, the biggest question: can you change to be what you want?


Of course you can. The key point is that you absolutely must believe in what you want to change into. If you lose weight because someone else wants you to, you will not be able to maintain the loss; all changes are similar. If you want to be more compassionate because you value it but have let other things be more important, you can make that change. If you want to compromise because it is easier but deep down you are still a fighter and believe the compromise is not right, you will not be able to compromise and feel good about it. Your choices can only be as effective as you truly believe them to be. This is where you become a person of integrity; not only are you honest, but you are true to the things you believe and care about.
When you are your own life coach and you struggle with what to say or think to yourself, sometimes it helps to imagine that you are someone else’s life coach. You’ll find that most of the time, attacks on the soul are more harshly felt than on any other aspect of self or life. Put yourself in someone else’s shoes, then treat them like a friend/counselor/mentor all together.


If you are religious and feel that your spiritual journey has stalled or you are having a hard time recovering from hurts and disappointments you believe have been inflicted by God, seek out support from a religious community. If you have a difficult time or are dissatisfied with the religious institution you go to or have gone to, feel free to see if there is a better fit for you. There are websites and books that can assist you in finding out what religion your individual beliefs and values actually match up with; these can help you better understand why you may not be getting the spiritual guidance you need at this time.


There are also several books on the market that will help you think of your spiritual struggles in a different way. You may want to get material that is firmly rooted in your religion; alternatively, you may want to try something that stems from a different religious tradition than your own. Trying something new can often help stimulate your mind and motivate you to get your journey back on track.

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