Notes from the online course – How to Be Your Own Life Coach – Lesson 2. – Life and What You Want from It
Related reading: – How to Figure Out What You Want in Life
It is easy to make a list of things you want: more money, a bigger house, a nicer car, more time with your kids, time for a hobby, a better boss, a more supportive spouse, etc. We all know that we want these things but what eludes us is how to get them. Get rich quick schemes are so popular for a reason – they make you believe it is possible to suddenly have the things you want.
The trick is (ask any lottery winner) you never stop wanting things to be different. You never have everything you want and ours is a society that makes you believe you should have everything you want.
This is not news; we’ve all heard it before. But changing our attitude into gratitude is extremely challenging. Learning to be happy with the blessings you have is much, much easier said than done. Plus there is the fact that to a certain degree, it is human nature to want things we do not have. So how do you make yourself be satisfied with a limited amount of wishes coming true? You prioritize.
- Clear your mind as much as possible. Imagine yourself surrounded by feelings of happiness, love, peace, and contentment. The possibilities are endless, but what truly makes you feel fulfilled, sheltered, and loved? You will be writing your dream life, but rather than thinking of it as a magazine where you can flip the pages and circle everything you’ve ever wanted, really focus on the ways and things that bring you joy and peace.
- Start with a place. Is it in the hustle and bustle of the city, the community of the suburbs, the calm of the country, the drama of the seaside? What country are you even in? Be open to what you truly want, not what you think you can realistically get. This is the time for dreams.
- Add a place to live. Do you truly want the big mansion or the penthouse? Do you want a sprawling estate? A cottage? A house like the one you grew up in? Imagine it in the place you want to be.
- Who is there with you? Maybe you crave the solitude and freedom of the single life. Maybe you want to be married or maybe you do not want to be married even though you are now. Are there kids there? Do there have to be? Are there other people close by that you want, even though they may not live there with you? Who, if anyone, makes you feel loved and safe?
- Imagine your work. What do you spend the majority of your time doing? Is work a means to an end for you or do you want a job you feel passionately about? Do you want the top corner office in a skyscraper? The freedom to travel around the world as a photographer? A steady, secure position in accounting or IT where you can tune out the rest of the world? Do you want to work from home, own your own business, or work in a non-profit organization? What is your dream job?
- What else do you do with your time at home? Hobbies are an important outlet and stress reduction tool. Do you paint or sculpt? Do you like to balance your checkbook and read the newspaper? Do you play an instrument, are you in local theatre, do you volunteer? Do you just like long, hot baths? Do you entertain and have lots of friends? What other activities fit in line with the happy, contented future you are designing?
- Picture the inside of your home. Do you use bright, happy colors of soft, neutral ones? Do you focus your décor on family photos or pieces of art? Is the kitchen the heart of the home or is your front porch where you spend most of your at-home time? What brings you pleasure and makes you happy in this home of dreams?
- Imagine yourself looking in a mirror. What do you look like? Is it close to how you are now or very different? Have you lost weight or had eye surgery or simply look like the most attractive version of yourself? Do you want to look different or are you comfortable with how you are?
- What is your relationship with what we will call a Higher Being? Do you spend much time in prayer or contemplation? Do you have a stronger faith life or do you imagine being secured in the belief that there is no Higher Being? What matters to you in this regard and how does it show itself in your dream life?
You have just imagined the life that, way deep down, you want to live. Most of the time, large plasma TVs and Ferraris do not make the list; this is the first step to figuring out that what you may want right now is usually unrelated to what you really want in the long run. This is an empowering realization – that when you have the life you’ve dreamed, it is not about things. It is about passion and joy.