Children are made to feel bad or guilty for expressing any emotion other than pleasure about whatever is happening around them.
In some families, expressing anger or other emotions is punished. If a child shows anger, they may be told to “shut up” by a more dominant voice. The child, therefore, learns to suppress all emotions out of fear of punishment. As a result, the child may eventually deny ever having felt any pain at all.
Children may then cope with suppressed emotions by pretending they don’t feel hurt or upset. As another coping mechanism, children often become skilled at forgetting the events that triggered those suppressed emotions.
However, this forgetting can be harmful in the long term, as it makes identifying the true causes of distress more difficult.
These coping strategies may offer temporary relief, but the memories and their associated emotions remain stored in the subconscious and often carry over into adulthood.
(based on ideas from the book – “The secret language of feelings” by Calvin D. Banyan)
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